[If I took the time to stat up every joke monster
in the Hacklopedias
that’s a killer version of something harmless, I’d be on this project for years. These guys stand out, though. They look so cartoonishly malicious!]
Loathsome Prowler This thing resembles a five-armed
starfish twisted into a vaguely humanoid shape. Two of its arms serve it as
arms, and it walks on two of them as stumpy legs. A leering face glares from
the base of its fifth arm. Its surface is covered in spines, nippers and other
projections.
Loathsome
prowlers are belligerent aquatic monsters that are driven by a fanatical hatred
of other living things. Scholars hypothesize that loathsome prowlers were
originally created when sea stars scavenged on the polluted corpses of a
qlippoth. Certainly, loathsome prowlers speak Abyssal, seek to kill most
sentient life forms they come across, and worship qlippoth lords as gods. The
incongruity between their appearance and their actions strikes some as
comical—until the little monsters are tearing into the flesh of those that
mocked them.
Loathsome
prowlers are suicidally aggressive in combat, attacking opponents in waves in
order to grab onto them and grind through skin and muscle. Unless they are
actively being stealthy, loathsome prowlers mutter to themselves constantly,
forming a litany of obscenities and threats picked up from a dozen languages.
This muttering is often quite unnerving, and a loathsome prowler can strike
fear into the heart of an opponent four times its size. They are innate
bullies, and may coerce other aquatic monsters into fealty on pain of death or
dismemberment.
Loathsome
prowlers are rarely, if ever, alone. Knowing that their size renders them
vulnerable, they gather in large numbers to defend their territory and make
raids on other species. A loathsome prowler can survive out of water for only a
short time, but long enough to attack a seaside community for meat and plunder.
Loathsome prowlers detest sunlight, and typically make their raids on moonless
or overcast nights. Loathsome prowlers are comfortable underground, and are
often found on the edges of sunless seas. A loathsome prowler stands only two
feet tall and weighs about fifteen pounds.
Loathsome prowlers are the bane of seaside communities in the tropical oceans of Cerul, and Gladia is no exception. Talassan congregations maintain vigils against them, knowing that their main advantage is surprise.
Shores of Swords 